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I am the One Who Ghosts

from Outlaw the Dead by E.G. Phillips

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about

When I started writing this one, I had in mind Walter White's infamous declaration "I am the one who knocks" in Breaking Bad. I thought this was an interesting, assertive approach from which to talk about the pattern of behavior we've come to describe as "ghosting." It seems like something people are more likely to accuse others of doing or be flippant about when they do it themselves. Along the way the song became more confessional, and, as is my want, cynical.

The atmospheric instrumentation is the result of that alchemy that develops between veteran musicians who have performed together many times and have created many records together as found with Kevin Seal, Chris McGrew, and Christopher Fortier — all members of the progressive punk band Griddle. Fortier in particular is a tour-de-force here, providing some spectral David Glimor-esque riffs.

The vocals are by Barcelona native Mar Vilaseca, who's smokey voice producer Chris McGrew heard when she was performing at the Black Cat jazz club in San Francisco. He thought she would be a good match for this track which he felt needed some "sang'n" to complement its sparse sonic landscape.

Mar is a classically trained vocalist, composer and multi-instrumentalist who studied at Juilliard under the tutelage of Wynton Marsalis, among others.  She has performed at music festivals around the world and acclaimed jazz clubs such as  Birdland Jazz Club, Jazz at Lincoln Center, and The Django Jazz Club.

lyrics

VERSE 1:

Wish I’d made my escape

With the coming of the plague

It was the perfect opportunity
For me to exit this stage

And quietly slip away — for

CHORUS 1:
I am the one who ghosts

A magician in a puff of smoke

The soldier who abandons his post
I am the one who ghosts

VERSE 2:
They’d been dating when he was still trying
To break into the local scene

Then he disappears 'til she spots him
On the cover of a magazine

Oh, I know his routine — for

CHORUS 2:
I am the one who ghosts

That fog that burns off on the coast

The substance of our sworn oaths
I am the one who ghosts

BRIDGE:
As a child I was told I had a high threshold for pain
Emotions — they’ve always been a different thing
I get drawn into negative space

Can’t have a voice or a face

VERSE 3:
Stuck on rope bridge

Spanning a pitiless gorge
On one side the earth lies

Bitter and scorched

For the rest I’ve brought my torch — for

CHORUS 3:
I am the one who ghosts

That word the gets lost in your throat

That last little bit of hope

I am the one who ghosts

OUTRO:
I am the one who ghosts

A magician in a puff of smoke
The soldier who abandons his post
I am the one who ghosts

credits

from Outlaw the Dead, track released September 6, 2023
Mar Vilaseca — vocals
Christopher Fortier — guitars, electric bass

Kevin Seal — piano, B3 organ

Chris McGrew — percussion

Recorded at Wally's HydeOut in Hyde Street Studio C, San Francisco

Recorded by Gary Hobish
Mixed by Chris McGrew and Jaimeson Durr
Mastered by Gary Hobish, A. Hammer Mastering

Produced by Chris McGrew   

Artwork by Mario M. Noche

Written by E.G. Phillips (ASCAP)
© 2023 Ducks With Pants Music

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E.G. Phillips San Francisco, California

E.G. Phillips is a San Francisco based songwriter who creates lyric driven songs with his own special blend of whimsy and cinematic imagery which he uses to give a wry take on dealing with the longings of the heart and the madness of existence.

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